He Said She Said - Beauty Shop Conspiracy

He Said

They say that couples should spend quality time
together whenever possible. I agree. I try to
spend as much time as possible with my fiancee'.
But let me tell you, going to the beauty shop
together does notmake for quality time.
In today's world not all guys go to the barber
shop to get their hair cut,colored or coiffed.
Some go to a beauty shop. Somehow, my fiancee'
and I started going to the same beauty shop on
the same day and at the same time. These days,
in between all of her other fixings,our hairstylist
Stephanie cuts my hair.
I have noticed that when a man walks into a beauty
salon, the women stop talking all at once. You
can literally hear a hairpin drop. How and why
they do this is beyond me. They can't all have
been talking about me because all of them do
not know me. Something else I have noticed is
that once they start talking again, they do it
in unison, like some kind of women's army.
Since I have been going to the beauty parlor,
I have also learned that there are secrets
going on. How do I know this? Because I ask
questions but I don't get back answers.
For example...
One day on the shelf in front of me I noticed
a bottle of something called Sex You Up
so I asked Stephanie,"What is that? Do you
drink it, splash it on your body, or bathe in it?
"No",she replied.
"Well, what is it for." I asked. No answer.
When she finally told me that it is something to
puff up your hair, I bought a bottle. I was
thinking it would make me look younger or at
the least, sexier. Instead, it made me look like
one of those gospel singers or preachers you see
on TV with bouffant hair, so I threw it away.
I don't need to look any puffier than I already
look or look younger and have all those blue
haired women calling 24/7. Maybe I should go back
to the barbershop where men are men and we just
look sexy naturally...without additives.

She Said

To all of the women in the world, I apologize.
I am afraid my fiance' has found out the truth
about us. We have a hideout; it's the beauty salon.
Yes, my super-duper-snooper detective fiance' has
discovered the top secret of women everywhere. Hair
Salons all over the world are chapters of an
organization of women who plan to take over the
world and rule all men. I apologize, too, for his
discovering our top secret weapon, Sex You Up.
Thank goodness it doesn't work for men, just women.
What he did not realize is that Sex You Up
works to make us sexy and alluring so we can entice
all of the men and conquer them, not the other way
around. Sort of like their AXE body spray. That must
be some formula that men think will entice us meek
unassuming, poor women. There is an old saying that
"He chases her until she catches him". Think about
that , guys.
He also discovered that we bring stories to our
hairdressers, about what the men did that week, and
the hairdressers tell other women; this is how we
learn to dominate them.
Thank goodness he didn't find out that we all conspire
together to marry them, divorce them, and get all of
their money, which we then send to the Natural Order
of Women.
We go to beauty salons each week under the pretense that
we are just trying to fix ourselves up for them. But
now that secret is out, we should never, ever let them
find out that when we all go to the restroom together,
this is really just a time for short meetings of our
NOW group.
My fiance' can find a conspiracy theory in everything
I do and now it is everything that women do at the
hair salon. I didn't ask him to go to the beauty salon;
he just tagged along.
I didn't ask him to buy Sex You Up,he thought
it would puff up his hair when actually it was just to
puff up his ego.
I am telling you, I only go to the hairdresser to look
good and to make myself more appealing for him. I imagine
that if I took a survey, most women would feel the same
way. I'll be sure and bring it up at our next monthly
meeting.
Puffy hair? Give me a break. Larry, you only look puffy
from eating too many Snickers.