Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Why did God invent TV ?

He Said

I remember when the television first came out in the
fifties for me. Black and White and only one or
two stations and you got your reception using an TV
antenna , or rabbit ears. I enjoyed my fair share
of TV in the fifties, Howdy Doody Time, Old Rebel Show,
Superman, Amos and Andy, Gunsmoke, and who could forget
The Mouseketeers, especially Annette. As I have grown
older , TV has either gotten worse, or I have grown up.
I do not need TV. TV certainly does not need me. In my
house the TV never comes on unless we have a war, a
catastrophe, or some important person gets married
besides me. (Princess Diana). Now I try to understand
the function of the TV, besides the excuse that it keeps
someone company. I mean you can get a dog to keep you
company and have more fun doing it.
She has five TV's and one day I am going to walk into
her house and sitting right in the bathroom will
be Matt Lauer staring back at me while I am sitting
on the throne. I mean give me a break. Her children
gave her a TV for the kitchen for Christmas.
(Good job kids),however, the kitchen was the only room
in the house where I could come over for breakfast
and we could share some time together talking just
the two of us. Now , of course, we listen with baited
breath about the next excursion that Matt is going
to take and is Meredith going with him. I mean really.
When is a man expected to get quality time with his girl.
It almost makes me want to get a dog. Not really.
Her dog is enough and that is a whole different story.

She Said

Here we go again. You are on your TV kick again.
About every two years he starts yapping about how
bad TV is, or the people who watch TV are somehow
inferior to him, or he is superior to everyone that
watches television. He has his moments. Some days
I walk in from being out and he is busy watching
Cops or Tru TV or that insane or inane Nancy Grace.
I agree with him wholeheartedly that he is not
a TV person. I will attest to the fact that he has
never watched American Idol. Should I give up TV for
him? Is he that important that I should give up the
Young and Restless? Do I want to miss Two and a
half men because he gets lonely easily? Love is
grand and all that but come on, give up Matt in
the morning? I should think not. Matt closes his
mouth when he chews, Matt does not talk back,
and Matt and I get along beautifully in the morning.
If Dr. McDreamy had a show I would buy two more TV's
for the rest of the house and maybe have TV put in
my car. Sophie, my poodle , has her own television
so she can watch Caesar............ to learn how to
behave better. Maybe there is a TV show that I can find
where he can learn to adapt better, learn to control
his needs and the judgment of others, and learn to
respect other peoples indulgences. Does anyone have
Dr. Phil's number? I think I need an intervention.