Thursday, February 10, 2011

We Said or Yes Dear?

Showcase Magazine February 2011

He Said

Well it finally happened. After knowing you for 46 years,
dating you for 12 years, being engaged for 10 years , you
finally agreed to marry me and now I can remember our
wedding date because we got married at 9 am on Christmas Eve.
How does that change for the readers? Probably not much
difference because we were always together anyway so our
lives were pretty much entwined. But how has it changed
for me since we got married? Am I allowed to say?. Before,
when I was single, I could just about get away with anything.
Now I have got to answer to someone else. That would be
you in case you are wondering. Since getting married I
have been given a list of things that I cannot write about.
I have been told there are certain limits to just about
any and everything that I do now. I am not saying that
marriage stagnates me, but let's just say I am not the
same man I was last month. I should mention at this point
that it is February , the month of love, so at this
point I should mention that I love my wife very much.
That would be you in case you forgot. I am being very
careful to stay on neutral ground here because I do
not want to get in trouble the in the first writing of
the first column since becoming wedded. (Is that a word?.)
So I hope I am still in your good graces and since the
marriage has lasted about a month and a few days, I
feel like we can stay married forever. I still think we
should call the column the same name but most of my
friends are telling me that we should change it to either
“WE SAID” or “YES DEAR”. What do you think, Honey?

She Said

What do I think? I think that from last month to this
month everything is the same except now we can wear the
rings that we bought ten years ago, that you locked in
your Bank Deposit box ten years ago , that I haven't
seen since ten years ago. We should have gotten married
if for anything, so that I could see my ring. Of course
I probably shouldn't tell the readers that you lost the
key and had to have your box drilled at the bank, costing
you big dollars you said, precluding us from going on a
honeymoon, unless you are counting supper at Sonic Burger.
All right I am just kidding about that part, you did take
me to Martinsville. Getting married to you in a private
ceremony was the only way I could figure to keep you from
cutting up at the wedding, eating too much cake, hugging
every woman in the church, and inviting all your friends
from Atlanta to New York. The time was right, the mood
was right, and honestly I had run out of excuses to give
you.(LOL). Now that we are married I have not given you
any new rules to abide by. I just expect you to follow
the old rules and keep obeying them or you will find
yourself writing this column with your sister.I like the
idea of marriage and you are a good man , who I am sure
with more guidance , you will make a wonderful husband.
I have done a pretty good job thus far of training you
and you are a pretty fast learner, although it normally
doesn't take me ten years to train a man. You offered more
resistance than I expected and a couple of times you
failed your exam. But you made up for it with extra points
in other categories, so I guess I will let you pass.
As you can see by passing the test you were allowed
to marry me. I want you to realize how lucky you are
to have someone that will put up with your lifestyle
(always busy), your habits(don't make me go there),
your stories(if I have to hear about that 1966 Fast
back Mustang one more time I will croak) and your
pickiness about food(a little ice in orange juice
and a lot of ice in soda.
So now I inherit all your picadello's and you just
get little ole plain me who never complains, is always
there for you , and loves to live only for you.
I think we should just name the column “Dena's Folly”,
that way the column can still be all about you.