The Big Bang Theory

He Said She Said July Showcase Magazine 2010

He Said

The month of July to me usually means food at mom's

house, watermelon, homemade ice cream,

hot dogs, the American Flag, and sometimes patriotic

speeches.

To you it only means one thing. The height of your

year means fireworks on the 4th of July....all night

long. You want to leave one display and hit the road

searching for another one. I love you and all that;

I would do anything for you and you must admit I usually do.

As you know, I always go to the fireworks displays, just

to please you. Just so you know...I never enjoy them.

I remember last year I took a book and a flashlight.

What do you get out of it? It is loud. It makes you

craine your neck all night and I keep hearing the same

phrase : "that one is pretty, this one was not a pretty

as the last one, oh, did you see how spectacular that

one was, and oh, I just loved that one." How am I

suppose to read my book with you asking or telling me a

play by play of the fireworks. I personally think fireworks

are too expensive, offer no social redeeming value, and the

noise renders my hearing mute for two days. The people

beside us are talking too loudly, oohing and ahhing all night,

their dog is barking or yelping, their

children are crying, screaming, or asking for something

to drink all night long. I am as patriotic

as the next guy, but this year instead of going to see

the fireworks let's just go bowling. If there is

going to be noise, it might as well be those bowling

pins crashing down where we can at least hear

loud noises while sitting in a air conditioned lounge.

We can wear those patriotic t-shirts you bought us

last year and play country patriotic songs on the jukebox.

I know these words are futile. I know we don't bowl.

I know we will be sitting on a blanket on some

dark hill, craining my neck, shooing away flies, sweat

pouring down my face, my rear end completely

numb, my throat parched, my eardrums busted, and my

head throbbing.

Oh well, when you turn to me and ask " are you having fun?"

I will just smile at you and say," Oh, did you see how

pretty that one was."

　

She Said

You are so full of it! If I had any idea that I've

been dragging you kicking and screeming to fireworks'

displays, I'd have left you at home. You're a people

person and can't wait to mix with a crowd just for

the social aspects. Half of the time you don't even

know there are fireworks going on because I can't

hear them over the sound of your voice talking with

whoever is beside you. For arguments' sake, let's

just say you do know it's July 4th. I really don't

think our forefathers were focused on hot dogs,

ice cream, watermelon, or mosquitos. They had more

important events planned. I'm having a hard time

picturing Abraham Lincoln complaining about no

air conditioning while swatting flies that are

consuming his hot dog! We're talking about a

man who was for the most part self educated by

light from a fireplace. He had several failed

jobs before entering the political arena but

he pursued his dream of making the world a better

place for future generations. So for July 4th,

why not thank our forefathers for leading us to

where we are today instead of whining about a

little noise that comes from a few fireworks.

You should be ashamed of yourself!