The Tail Wagging the Dog

He Said

As everyone knows the dog of the house has been a
bone of contention for some time.
(no pun intended)
I like the dog and the dog likes me. That's not
the problem. The problem is the tail wags
the dog in our house. The dog gets fed first
before the grown ups. The dog gets walked
every day and the dog gets taken outdoors to
do her business whenever she gives a little cough.
Did I happen to mention that the dog has taken two
obedience classes and flunked both of them?
She has diploma's from both schools, but they were
bought with hundreds of dollars because she attended
all classes..
Reminds me of these diploma mills that you see in
the back of magazine’s where you can be proficient
at watering the lawn and get a degree with a few bucks.
The dog is cute and all that but she has no manners, she
still jumps on everyone, urinates on the floor if a
stranger gets too close and still barks for attention.
How can you chase the burgulars away by wetting on them?
Do the burglars leave to change
clothes or because of the rancid odor? Maybe they
just get P.O'd (no pun intended again) and leave? We did
not train her as a watch dog, although she scares
the heck out of many birds and squirrels if they get
in her yard. I did run into the last trainer this
week and told her some of these concerns. I told her
that everything she had been taught in dog school
is gone and she has reverted back to her old ways.
She said why don't you let me have her for 3 weeks
and I'll get her straight. The problem is I don't
think she will go because she has to teach school,
but I do plan on asking her.


She Said

Real Cute! I cannot believe that you have stooped
this low to talk about my Sophie. She is the sweetest
dog in the world and I love her very much. I know
you think she is only a dog, but to me she is almost
like a child of mine. She kisses me, hugs me,
and looks into my eyes like she could eat me up.
Then you go and talk about her like she is a dog.
I will admit that I have been busy lately and haven't
had as much time as I would like to keep up her training.
For the most part she is well behaved, and
you must admit that last week when I took her
to the Vet for a sleepover, she was having a
blast standing up on the counter so she could help
wait on the customers. Didn't you think that
was cute? I HAVE to wait on her because I am the only
mother that she has. I think you are just
envious because I don't take you
for a walk, or pour chicken juice on your
food or buy you bones to chew on. You're
old enough to take care of yourself and your
mother lives close by in Greensboro. I am not
about to be your surrogate mother. Sophie on
the other hand needs me so I give her my attention
as I see fit. You need to get over your jealousy
concerning the dog or maybe you need to go take
obiedience classes for a few weeks. It is not
the tail wagging thedog at all but if I put a
Gentle Leader around your snout, will you shut up?