Painting the Town

He Said She Said – Showcase Magazine August 2010 –



He Said


In July she had a few weeks off and I casually asked

her what we would be doing. This is the time when

families take vacations and spend quality time

together....and we have. She is up on a ladder

painting and I am drinking tea and reading my book.

I don't want you to think this is another woe is me

column because it isn't. She is perfectly happy painting

and I am perfectly happy watching. Before you start

cheering for her and booing for me, let's look at the

whole picture. The only person that I know of who

ever liked her purple living room was she and several

people who came by and lied to her. Who paints

their living room purple? She has told me that she

is out of her purple stage and into her teal stage.

There is a hint of teal in all rooms. All of this is

fine with me and I am not complaining. OK , one little

complaint, or maybe two. One living room, seven trips

to the paint store, one reupholstered couch to

match the new living room color, four hours on the

computer looking up matching materials, two trips

to Greensboro to look at patterns, twelve phone calls

looking for just the right upholsterer to do a good

job, three trips to stores to find the correct matching

pillows, two days of painting, opening up the freezer

door to get ice cream and finding used paint brushes

instead, three hours of moving and removing furniture,

and several hours of sitting in the living room oohing

and ahhing. She came in this week and said “since you

liked it so much better than before, I have decided to

paint one or two of the other rooms this summer.”

I have been on the phone all morning trying to book

a flight to Anywhere, USA.





She Said


Would you like some crackers with that whine?

I agree with some of the things you are saying

but I do not totally agree with the others.

Just to set the story straight, let me give

you my version of what really took place in July.

You had not mentioned the cruise line trip. You

had not mentioned going anywhere on vacation.

You had not offered to take me anywhere special

to dine. You had not even hinted about building

a Florida room. There has been no mention of a

new car, going to New York, going to visit my

girlfriend in Atlanta, or even going to Bubba's

for ice cream. I happen to know that the important

things in your life are eating, reading, working,

and sitting, in that order. A girl needs a little

color in her life. She needs brightness, pizazz,

excitement, change, newness, and I am not talking

about a new boyfriend. You are content to sit and read.

You are content to just drink your tea and tell me

long tales about your adventures(going to Ma Possum's for lunch).

I have chosen to take another route and add spice to

my life. A new paint job to me is like a new book to you.

I know you feel guilty because I cut down all the

shubbery, trimmed back all the trees, planted new

flowers, cut back all the ivy on the wall, and

you didn't get to help.(lol). You did volunteer

to paint, but you would have gotten it on everything

except the walls, complained the whole time about

having to paint, and after we were finished, you

would have told everyone on facebook and in this

column how hard I made you work. It is just not

worth it to hear you whine. So if you will excuse

me, I have got to run over to the paint store

for some more paint. Oh did I happen to mention

how cute the guy was in the paint department?