What Men Don't Know

He said She said – Showcase May 2009

He Said
Here is the deal. During a recent discussion about family
dynamics {thank God it wasn't our family this time}, I was
trying to make a point with you about what men know and
don't know when it comes to getting inside the female brain.
You shared with me a story about one of our friends
who is suddenly devastated by the fact that her husband does
not help around the house after years of NOT helping around
the house. Your statement to me was that since he is
retirement age, he could just stay home and be a house
husband. He could cook, clean, do laundry and have dinner
ready when she gets home. They could fire the maid and
gardener and everyone would be happy. Here is where I start
losing the point. Is she upset because they can afford these
things? Is she upset because he does not want to make an
effort? I gingerly added, (I know I'm treading on uncharted
territory at this point) HAS SHE EVER TOLD HIM HER DESIRES?
Here comes the communication breakdown. We as men are
expected to read your minds, know what you are thinking,
and then react appropriately to it. So if I come home,
sit down, read the paper, and wait for dinner, it's
because I have been doing this for years or let's just
say you have let me get away with it for years. Then one
day you decide I should be painting the house, or mowing
the grass, or peeling the potatoes. I'm still in the old
mindset and for whatever reason, you've had an epiphany
and have done a 180 degree turn. You've been stewing
because I didn't bring in the garbage cans, get the mail
in, or any other small trivial job that I didn't do.
I guess the old proverbial “job jar” should be ressurected
just to keep you happy.

At least it will not tax my brain trying to read your mind.



She said

You read my mind? Yeah right. Your mind is so far removed
from what goes on in the house and around the house, that
many days I'm surprised that you even found the house. You
are right about one point. In my desire to bring you up right,
I didn't start soon enough giving you your list of weekly
chores. I just brought the garbage cans around after they
were empty, instead of waiting a week to bring them around
before the next pickup. How foolish of me to expect you
could think on your own to bring them around quickly.
My point about our friends was that after all these years
of marriage, he should want to help around the house,
out of love or out of commitment or just to make her load
lighter. It had nothing to do with reading minds, making
job jars, or writing a note on his forehead.
I only suggested that she was frustrated that day because
he came in, sat down, read the paper, and asked her what
time dinner would be served. All of this occurred after
she had worked the same 8 or 9 hours that he had worked.
No, if you could read my mind, some days you would probably
run for the hills, especially after a long day at work,
coming home with a headache and instead of you saying
“hello, how was your day?”, you ask me “ What's for dinner
tonight?” I am telling you I don't think you're ready for
what is inside my head at that very moment. As far as you
peeling potatoes, I would pay a hundred dollars to see that,
two hundred to see you paint the house, and I don't have
to worry about you starting the lawn mower because you
might get a hernia.