Decipher the Correct Christmas Carols

As the Christmas season begins, Dena and I would like to
thank you for your e-mails, comments, and letters about
“He Said She Said”.
We do it for fun and love making people laugh and also
think about their own relationships. We enjoy coming up
with different topics and hearing others reactions.
We ARE in LOVE despite what you read.
Remember to keep Christ in Christmas this year and
always try and get along with your significant other.
Be happy all year not just at Christmas time.
This is the one thing that we all can agree on this season.
Below you will find some of Dena and Larry’s favorite
Christmas Carols.
Decipher the correct title of the Christmas Carols that they love.
You will find the answers under COMMENTS
where you choose your answers from the list in the next blog.
Good Luck.
Merry Christmas from Larry and Dena.

1. Bleached Yule
2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors
4. Righteous Darkness
5. Arrival Time 2400 hrs - Weather Cloudless
6. Loyal Followers Advance
7. Far Off in a Feeder
8. Array the Corridor
9. Bantam Male Percussionist
10. Monarchial Triad
11. Nocturnal Noiselessness
12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
13. Red Man En Route to Borough
14. Frozen Precipitation Commence
15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle
16. The Quadruped with the Vermilion Proboscis
17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant
18. Delight for this Planet
19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals

Some of Larry and Dena's Favorite Christmas Carols

OK, if you need help, look at this easier list of some of Larry and
Dena's favorite Christmas carols.

1.O Holy Night

2.White Christmas

3.Angels We Have Heard on High

4.Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire

5.All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth

6.It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

7.God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen

8.O Come, All Ye Faithful

9.O Little Town of Bethlehem

10.Away in a Manger

11.Deck the Hall

12.Little Drummer Boy

13.We Three Kings

14.Silent Night

15.My Favorite Things

16.Santa Claus is Coming to Town

17.Let it Snow

18.Go, Tell It on the Mountain

19.Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer

20.What Child is This?

21.Joy to the World

22.Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

23.The Twelve Days of Christmas

24.Rocking around the Christmas Tree

25.Do They Know It's Christmas Time

26.The First Noel

27.Feliz Navidad

28.Happy Xmas (war is over)

29.Merry Christmas Darling

The Art of Being Left Handed Pt.2

She Said

This left-handed business is pretty fascinating. I dug a little deeper and found a lot of things that you aren’t supposed to be able to do because you're left-handed. Aren’t you glad I'm so understanding?
Apparently, it’s the left-to-right motion that’s the problem resulting in “How many Larrys does it take to screw in a light bulb?” When you were in school and the desks were all for right-handed people, did you protest? What about spiral notebooks? Does the wire get in the way or your hand cramp when using a composition book? Try using it from back to front instead of front to back!
Does the ink or pencil smear when you write? Is that why your penmanship is illegible? I suppose you would like for the car makers to put the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel just for you. What about door handles . . . should they turn from right to left? This is one that probably doesn’t affect you . . . did you even know that the kill switch on a chain saw is on the right? Every year there are 10,000 left-handed people who die from using items designed for “normal” right-handed users. I'll bet Bill Gates could make another fortune if he would invent a mouse for left-handers.
I do notice, however, that although Lazy Boy Recliners operate on the right side, you don’t have a problem relaxing in one.
I’ll bet you feel even more discriminated against when you take language into consideration: a left-handed compliment for instance. Did you know the word for “left” in French is “gauche” and in Latin it’s “sinister.” In contrast, the French word for “right” is “droit” from which we get the English word “adroit” and Latin for “right” is ‘dexter" from which we get “dexterous.” In tarot cards, the word for “right” is “justice” and the word for “left” is “devil.”
One more interesting fact is that there are scholarships for left-handed people. Is there a reason for that? I have a great idea. Since August 13 is International Left-Handers Day, I’ll plan a huge celebration in honor of the fact that you’ve survived another year of successfully using your “wrong” hand!


He Said

You are not going to let this left-handed thing go, are you? I’ve known you for 40 years and dated you for 10 years, and this month you discovered the world of being left handed? Up until this month, I just have not thought about it. I have adapted quite well to the world of right-handers, and so far you have been the only one to give me a lecture and history lesson of being left-handed. I guess that is what I get for dating a school teacher who looks to educate the world or at least my world on the detriment of a person who uses the wrong hand in your sight.
I don’t have enough space to tell you about all of the geniuses who are left-handed or the most creative people in the world who just happen to be left-handed, but does the name Albert Einstein ring a bell for you?
No? I just happen to be in a class of intellectuals and creative people throughout the world who make your poor, pitiful right-hand world bland without all of the left-handed people in the world creating a world of entertainment and joy for you. You should really be on your knees begging me to teach you how to be left handed, so that you too can enjoy the superiority complex world that I am forced to live in as a left-hander.
As you well know, we are only about 10% of the population. So I thank God every night for reaching down and making me a very special person.
I really do feel sorry for you ordinary right-handers

The Art of Being Left Handed Pt.1

She Said:

I can handle the fact that you can't cut with a pair of scissors, use power tools, turn a corkscrew, etc., but it's the mumbling that gets to me. I've read many of the books about Southpaws but honestly, can you really blame mumbling on being left handed? I know. I've read the research about the likelihood that left- handers often mumble but all you need to do is open your mouth and enunciate your words. I know my hearing is diminishing as the years go by but I don't want to resort to a hearing aid until I have to. Is this some sort of subliminal plan to trick me into thinking I'm going deaf? What an evil streak you have. You will even turn your head away from me when you're talking so I can't hear you and when I ask you to repeat yourself, you increase the decibel level (ie: yell) instead of working on your enunciation. I don't need loudness, I need clarity. You can be sitting in another room and say something barely audible to me so I have to stop what I'm doing, walk to wherever you are and ask you to repeat yourself. Funny, but when you're talking to one of the guys on the phone, I can be outside and hear every word. I guess that's your business voice and with me you use your "come hither" voice. Today, as we were riding in the car, I didn't have a problem hearing you "talking" to other offensive drivers. If we occasionally disagree about something, I don't have trouble hearing you make your point. If you get agitated over business situations, you speak quite clearly. If you're calling the dog and she decides to ignore you, your voice is extremely clear. So let's make a deal...stop mumbling and I'll stop feeling sorry for you having to use your "wrong" hand instead of your right one!

He Said

Maybe it is because I am left handed that I am confused. Your first sentence mentioned left handedness and your last sentence mentioned being left handed. The other 290 words were about mumbling. I have 57 relatives. I have 986 friends. I have 699 business associates. I have 23 enemies, plus I talk to many people daily that I don't even know.
That's about 2055 other people not counting the people I do not know that have never,
let me repeat that again…have never ever complained about my mumbling or their
inability to hear me. Maybe this can give you some insight to YOUR problem that for
some reason you are trying to put on me. I mean don't get me wrong. I am left handed.
I apologize. You might want to speak to my parents about this, as I am sure you must
be aware that it is probably their fault and not mine. I might also remind you that I have two children who are both left handed and very creative and intelligent as most lefties are.
If memory serves me right there are several people who you talk to on the phone and
I believe that several times (765 to be exact) I have heard you either ask to them to speak up or when you get off the phone you complain to me that you could barely hear them.
I have a very good friend who is in the audiologist business and maybe I should contact him for an appointment. Of course I will have to call him and being left handed and mumbling all over the phone, I am sure he will not understand me. I will just text him.

Left handed of course.

Dating When You Are Older

He Said
by Larry Oldham

Do you remember back when you were 16? Just about time you began realizing how significant girls were in your life, you also realized that the girls at school were different from your sister—especially if you were going to ask one of them for a date. That got to be a major fear for some of us, not because we were shy, but because we were terrified of being rejected.
But that was then. This is now and dating now that we are older brings on a whole new plethora of major troubles and fears.
Don’t get me wrong. I love dating, but relationship rules have changed. The biggest problem at sixteen was what movie to see or what to wear to the prom. Now I’m older, the question is still which movie to see and what to wear to church. But these days my significant other also has an opinion—usually an opposite opinion.
My fiancée says if I wear my brown suit, it will clash with her new black outfit. She wants to go to the movies, but it has to be between three and five, nothing scary, nothing with too much blood, and though she wants popcorn, “they cook it in saturated fat and they put too much salt on it”.
Now I know this sounds trivial, but I am trying to stay away from the controversial issues when dating as you get older like, raising children differently, sharing expenses, household duties (hers and mine), visiting relatives, choosing which friends to pal around with, how long we stay visiting each mother’s house, where we go on vacation, and who ate the last doughnut?
You know after thinking about it, dating at sixteen was probably a whole lot easier than I remember. There was less responsibility, accountability, and much less expensive. On the other hand, these days my fiancée cuts the grass, makes my supper, keeps the house spotless, buys the groceries, irons my shirts, and keeps me happy. Maybe dating as I get older isn’t so bad after all, plus—she is still just as beautiful as she was at sixteen.


She Said
by Dena Hill

Dating when you are older or dating when you are sixteen is basically all the same thing. You have to take care of a man.
Don’t get me wrong. I like dating. Men just never grow up. I think they all have that mother complex. They want a girlfriend; they want a woman in their life; but they can’t tell the difference between a girlfriend, a wife, or a mother. Their mothers took care of them, fixed their meals, cleaned up after them, and helped them through their most difficult times...now that’s what they want from a girlfriend or a wife.
I feel like now my children are grown and out of the house, I can sit down, relax, and maybe do something I want to do for myself. Instead, out of the blue, in the middle of the day, my fiancé decides that “we” want to go to a movie. Of course he wants to see a bang-bang, shoot’em up, car-wrecking, blood-splattering epic that lasts for at least four hours. If I don’t go, he pouts. If I suggest something that I want to see, he whines “Oh, that got bad reviews...but if you want to see it...”
Don’t get me started on clothes. Whatever is lying around the house that doesn’t walk by itself, he will wear. Truth is, he just needs to wake up and realize he is not sixteen anymore. He has a great mother—he doesn’t need two. He can fix his own sandwich, get his own soda, wash his own car, cut his own grass, and pick out what he wants to wear (as long as it matches my outfit).
He also needs to remember that we are both older now and have our own individual ideas about life based on how we were raised. He needs to start thinking about how we can make our lives better by sharing ideas and being happy that we are together.
Dating as an older couple isn’t hard, it’s just time consuming. I enjoy dating now, but give me some space and a little time for myself. As a matter of fact, if he went fishing with the guys more often, it would probably make dating much more fun.
Oh, I forgot. He doesn’t fish or go out with the boys. I guess that means we’ll be together all the time, so maybe we should just go ahead and get married...but that is entirely another column.

Let the Readers Decide

He Said

First of all let me thank all of the readers who read our column.
The question most asked of us is how do you come up with the
topics? This is fairly easy for us. She is perfect and I am the
dunce. She just sits down and says," COMMODE...he doesn't
put the lid down and walla, a topic is born. DISHES...he refuses
to do them. Aha, another topic. JUNK FOODS...that's him,sounds
like a May column to me." It's really quite simple. Name a subject,
he's wrong. We have tried to reverse it. She says , how about
EDUCATION. I say we both agree on it, who is the adversary?
MONEY...we both agree, we would both like to have more.
CHILDREN... we have five between us, we don't need anymore,
and our children are perfect. No discussion there. A lot of you
that read the column are always giving us ideas, cell phones,
pets, relatives, lifestyles etc. I am not saying we haven't used
your ideas before, but we like for the subject to be something
that we have both shared and normally something that we
have shared in discourse. He Said, She Said, etc.etc.
Except for Christmas. The December column was something
that we both agreed on, celebrated together and always enjoy.
So there was no conflict. Most readers tell us that was their
favorite column. Maybe instead of writing He Said She Said,
we should be writing about all the things we do agree on.
That should be good for at least two columns and maybe
only one...The Christmas issue.


She Said

I would also like to thank our readers, especially the female
readers who 99% of the time agree with me. It is not that
you are a dunce Larry. It is not even a problem that you
and I are at odds with one another. It is just men are different
and women are different, and you and I don't mind sharing
our differences with our readers. I appreciate the readers
and their comments. You just don't know how many topics
I could cover where you and I do not agree. I am too much
of a lady to sit down with a pad, a thick pad, maybe even
a hundred page pad, and list out all of your faults. I would
never embarrass you in front of all our friends and readers.
I am just content to let you throw out some subject each
month, then make a big deal about it, as all men do, when
actually I see your problems as petty or insignificant(AS
MOST WOMEN DO ALSO). If our readers can identify
with a subject and they have had the same problem
in their relationship, and if they enjoy the humor(sometimes)
of the same situation and are entertained, then I am happy.
But secretly I think that most of my friends and probably
most of the readers feel like you are making a mountain
out of a molehill, and appreciate my calling you on it. They
also appreciate the fact that I am giving you
the window of my intellectual reasoning as most women
would do. I am sure 99% of my friends would agree.

No Problem...He Said..She Winces

She Said by Dena Hill

We all have experiences that drive us up the wall. I was hoping that I would mellow with age, but so far, that hasn't happened.

For example— When I say "Thank you" for a service performed or a deed done, the typical response today is "No problem" instead of "You're welcome." I never said there was a problem so how does a problem enter into the picture? A simple you're welcome or okay would suffice.

In all fairness to the generation before us, such sayings as long in the tooth, fuddy duddy, all the rage, to tie the knot, to lose heart, and dry spell—when taken literally— probably had our parents confused. Each generation has its own lingo. How do you think a foreigner would interpret his nose is out of joint or a wolf in sheep's clothing or when pigs fly?

Another word that grates on my ears is library. There are two r's in library. The word is not libary. What about the word salmon? The l is silent so it sounds like sa-men. One day I heard someone denounce an opinion during a conversation by saying,
"That's a mute point." The word is moot; short o not long u.

There are, though, some exceptions. We have a Sunday School teacher who speaks eloquently but I DO listen to him. Our class is full of well-read worshippers who know the Bible backwards and forwards, so even if I thought someone was mispronouncing or misusing a word, I wouldn't correct them. Knowledge outweighs pronunciation and enunciation.

I know I've mispronounced words and I appreciate being corrected. After all, we never stop learning. I have a feeling that after this column hits the newsstand, I'll have readers yelling "No problem" at me.

I'll try to smile through my gritting teeth and crossed eyes and reply, "Was that only a slip of the tongue?"


He Said by Larry Oldham
Well, this is what I get for dating a school teacher.

Who cares what the response is when you say "Thank you" as long as there is a response? It beats a blank stare or being completely ignored. As much as I like to talk, I'm just interested in carrying on a conversation with someone. I certainly don't judge how they're using English grammar.

You must be accustomed to hearing incorrect grammar in the classroom, so you're judging everyone you see or hear. Granted, it's your job to teach acceptable speech patterns, but you need to lighten up on the general population. We speak the way we do because we were taught by our parents and their parents before them. We hand down our way of communicating the same way we hand down stories from one generation to the next. I can't worry about how foreigners interpret our language as long as I know what I mean. If they want to think that pigs really can fly, that's their problem, not mine.

Also, I've been saying "libary" my whole life and it probably isn't going to change now that you've brought it to my attention. I love books and they'll still be inside "the room" no matter how I pronounce it. The same holds true for salmon. There are six letters in that word and I'm going to pronounce every last one of them! (But I don't have to eat it, do I?)

I guess I should send up smoke signals to communicate with you because now I'm afraid I'll mispronounce a word and you'll be writing it down in your little composition book to be used in a later column. But one thing we agree on is our Sunday School class...it's great! I toyed with the idea of teaching once in a while until I realized how critical you are about grammar. Do you think you could occasionally be sick so I can teach in peace? Thank you...No problem.