Restaurant Manners

She Said



I never thought I'd be pushed into a public complaint about restaurant behavior but here goes...and you're in the center of it! A few weeks ago when we were traveling to Virginia Beach to visit my father, we stopped to eat at Applebees because they have a Weight Watchers menu. The waitress came to the table with "What can I get for you, Baby?" It was "honey" this and "Sweetie" that. I could have let it go but you had to ask her why she called you those endearing names. I listened to her response from under the table because I was so embarrassed. I was even more surprised when she replied that she was trained to use those names so she would get bigger tips. It didn't stop there. You listened to the music briefly and then complained about it being "hip hop" and asked if they even noticed that everyone in the restaurant had gray hair. You were still talking about it three days later when you called their corporate office to complain about their service and training program. As long as I am being so picky about restaurant service, let's talk about your restaurant manners. Every time I see you eating with your elbows on the table, I can hear my mother admonishing me as a child. She also told me that fried chicken was the only finger food, not fried fish. Finally, bread is more acceptable for pushing food onto your fork rather than your fingers. If there isn't any bread available, use your knife. I'll make a deal with you. You can throw all of my table peccadilloes out the window at home if you'll just clean up your act in restaurants...sweetie.



He Said



With all the crime, hate, manipulation, lying, cheating and stealing in the world, you come up with bad manners. Now I know why YOU date ME. If the worse thing I ever do is put my elbows on the table or eat my pork chops and ribs with my fingers, you should be happy.



I believe in proper manners but you are going back to youth camp with your "Larry, Larry, strong and able, get your elbows off the table". Aren't we past the 3rd grade which means all grownups can get away with putting their elbows on the table? Even the President of the United States occasionally puts his elbows on the table.



Seriously, don't you think that changing the music, depending on the ethnicity of your customers, makes sense? Applebee's corporate office sure did agree. They thanked me and told me they would make that change right away. They even offered me a free meal for my suggestion, which I declined.



When I told the waitress that I was going to deduct 10% off her tip every time she called me "sweetie" or "baby", she stopped calling me these endearing terms as you like to call them.



But I digressed. Getting back to mannerisms in restaurants, I see that I am embarrassing you in public, which I would never do in a million years, so I will offer you two solutions: The first one is that we don't eat out at restaurants very often so I can stay at home and slop my gravy and eat certain foods as finger foods...or we can still go out to eat, but we'll sit at separate tables (so I won't embarrass you).

Of course that means separate checks which might be more detrimental to you than my bad manners.

Your choice " BABY."