Keeping it Real

She Said

By the time this column goes out, our snowy winter
should be behind us. Do you remember when we first
started dating, you told me that on weekends, your
ex-wife didn't comb her hair or put on make-up
because she wasn't going to see anyone? Well,
there are several inches of snow and ice on the
ground and it's 4:00 in the afternoon; however,
I'm not sure you've walked past a mirror lately
because your hair looks like you were pardoned
thirty seconds after the switch was pulled!
Do you want to borrow some shampoo and a brush?

Seems like I remember another facebook entry
from you stating that "there wouldn't be as
many divorces if you tried as hard to keep
your partner as you did to get her". We all
fall into that marriage mode after a few years
and relax or so you've told me. Quite honestly,
at our age, that relaxed atmosphere is quite
appealing to me. Sometimes in the summer when
I've worked out in the yard all day, it's nice
to come in, shower and relax, skipping
hairstyling and make-up. I know the way
I look doesn't change the way you feel about
me and vice versa.

Don't worry though, I won't take advantage
of your good nature by going to WalMart in
hair curlers. There is a town in North Carolina
where the female population actually goes
shopping on Saturday morning with rollers
the size of orange juice cans. We can vow
to keep each other in check better than that.

He Said

Well that is quite a mouthful for me to answer
this month , but I will give it the old
proverbial try. I didn't wash my hair today ,
I just threw on a toboggan and hurried over to
your house before the snow got too deep, so we
could spend the whole day together( I see you
over there yawning so this might not be
as important to you as to me). If combing and
washing my hair and coming to your house is
the only thing keeping us together , let's
stock up on plenty of Prell shampoo or whatever
brand you use. I think in my facebook entry I
was probably talking about romance, flowers,
cards, attention, handholding, caring,
and all other methods that men use to keep
their woman happy. I know that when you are
not planning on leaving the house your M.O.
is to maybe wash your hair and let it dry
naturally, wear your glasses, not put on makeup etc.

I understand that and to me that would seem to
say I know you love me no matter what I look
like , so I will just go with my natural look..
however, when I go out, I want to look my best,
dressed to the t, so I can know that the world
will appreciate the effort I took, to look my best
for them.

Hello....how about me? Maybe I want to see you at
your best. Maybe I want to see you looking
extravagantly beautiful also. And the day you
want me to go to any store with you in hairculers
is probably going to be the day I go to U-Haul,
rent a truck, and move you to that little old
town in North Carolina where all the women shop
with hair curlers in their hair. Because on that
day I will be feeling that I can do better than that.

So next time I come over, my hair will be clean,
my teeth will be brushed, my clothes will be clean,
and you can be fixed up and we will both go shopping.

You can't ask for a better vow than that can you?