Past, Present, Future

He Said,

Another year is behind us and I for one feel pretty
darn lucky. I only gained about five pounds over
last year, I am another year older, and that is good
because I find myself above ground and still aggravating
you. But we are still engaged and our admiration for
each other grows deeper everyday (Okay, my admiration
grows deeper and yours stays about the same) but I'll
take what I can get.

When I think about the past 45 years, our high school
days come to mind. I think about all the times you
wouldn't go out with me but then again, I never asked
you. I was too intimidated by your charm and grace.
I had heard of those words back then but probably couldn't
even spell them. However here we are in the present,
and having the time of our lives making fun of
each other as we grow older, grayer, and heavier.
How can anyone top that for a happy life? Maybe we
should have our own TV show so everyone could join
in the fun. I would have a whole new audience to tell
my "good old days" stories to since you already know them.
Now about the future: I CAN HARDLY WAIT FOR THOSE
AFTER CHRISTMAS SALES!!! You want something mundane
like a new dryer. Why not take my dryer and we could
sign a pre-nup in case you decide to look for another
man. Now that that's out of the way, let's talk about
a shopping trip.It's not that I need anything; it's
the thrill of the chase, kind of like chasing you all
of these years! Since I already have a model car
collection, an expansive book collection, and music
collection, I was thinking I could start collecting
something new. Do you have any suggestions? Maybe we
could explore antique stores looking for artifacts
from the 1800's. Wouldn't that make an interesting
display? Let's talk about it over dinner tonight.

She Said

I guarantee you that we'll talk over dinner tonight
but it won't be about relics from the 1800's. I already
have one big relic.I'm not interested in collecting
anything that takes up more room. If I can't eat it,
wear it, or ride it, I don't want it. Are you crazy???
A pre-nup for a used dryer? Who do you think you are,
Tiger Woods? We don't need a pre-nup for a ten year
old dryer! Now if you have hidden assets that I should
know about that might constitute a pre-nup, I am all ears.
Right now I am marrying you in spite of all your problems,
not because I feel sorry for you, but because you
make me laugh sometimes, you feed me well, you take me to
events like a movie matinee, free concert, etc. and you
are generally a nice guy who doesn'tt drink, smoke, or
carouse with the opposite sex. We do have a history and we
have had a great life so far together. You have never been
that great at marriage, but then you have never been married
to me. So far I think I have done a pretty good job of
training you or at least getting us on the same track.
I don't think men in general are trainable per se, but
we women do the best that we can with what we have. I
understand that you are not an outdoor person, a yard
person, or a working person, so I just accept that as
part of the package. If you're planning a TV show for
us, you're probably going to have to get a surrogate
She Said. I just don't think I have anymore hours to
give to you for such trivial mess as boosting your ego
with some kind of “it's all about you TV show”. If you
like you can put that in your pre-nup and hope that
your future includes me, and a NEW dryer.