Getting the Facts Straight

November 2010

He Said

All over the world people are concerned about conserving
energy, going green,saving the trees, conserving water,
and cutting off the lights. But not in her house. She has
lights set up in the dog's room to come on and off by a
timer whether we are there are not. She doesn't want the
pooch wandering around in the dark looking for her favorite
toy, poor thing!. There is a light in the dining room, also
on a timer, that comes on at dusk and turns off sometime in
the middle of the night. There is a light in the foyer, also
on a timer, that comes on at dark and stays on till late at
night. There is a night light in the bathroom, the spare
bathroom I might add, that stays on all night. When she
enters a room she turns on the light. When she enters another
room she turns on the light. None of these lights get turned
off until she is ready to go to bed. When I ask her about
conserving energy, her response is usually something like a
light bulb cost about fifty cents to burn all month. When I
ask her where she gets her information, she says the Internet.
As we all know the Internet is now our main source of knowledge.
We also know that the Internet information highway is strewn with
not only useless information, but also misguided information.
I am not saying that the fifty cents guideline is wrong,
but as my Mother use to say," a penny saved is a penny earned".
I have noticed that since the time we have dated,her children
have learned well from their mother. No light in the house is
ever turned off until bedtime. Her other response is she wants
to have the house look lived in. "If all the lights are out in
the house, the house looks unhealthy" , she says. I guess to me
getting a five hundred dollar light bill every month would make
me and my wallet feel unhealthy.

She Said

I love Thomas Kincaid's paintings and the closest I'm going
to get to a serene setting like that is by leaving a few lights
on here and there. Which is more inviting...a dark, gloomy
house that is an invitation to be broken into or a home glowing
with lights and warmth from a fire in the fireplace and
maybe even soft music playing. Who wants to walk around
in a house stumbling over chairs, bumping into doors, or
tripping over someone's shoes who couldn't quite find a place
for them other than in the middle of the floor? Mr. Scrooge
wants everything turned off as a person leaves the room and
turned on again when they come back. Have you seen the TV
commercial of the man who goes around the house unplugging
lights, coffee maker, toaster, radio, TV, etc., to save
electricity? You wrote that ad didn't you, Mr. Ad Man?
Who is going to crawl behind the sofa, bed, kitchen cabinet,
etc, to plug them back in when they are needed again?
I remember going to my Dad's in Virginia Beach on weekends
from college and when we drove up, all the yard lights
were on as well as the lights inside. What a welcome home!
It just wouldn't have been the same if I drove up to
a dark house. As far as my kids go, if leaving lights
on is something they learned from me then I'll take it
as a compliment that maybe some other things I taught
them are etched in their minds.

What Christmas means to me...you light up my life?

He Said


Christmas only comes once a year and as I look at

my calendar I notice that we are here. I love

Christmas. I love the sounds, the music, the

crisp air around us, the joy of giving, etcetera.

Now let me tell you the things that I dread the most:

too many people getting in my way in the stores

and on the roads.

I am a Christmas eve shopper and one thing that I

don't need is a bunch of last minute shoppers

getting in my way. Also, what is the deal with

everyone telling me what to get them? I should be

able to get them whatever I think they deserve.

Another thing I hate is that I have been seeing Christmas

decorations up in the stores since August. I

couldn't enjoy Halloween this year because of all

the Christmas carols being played throughout the stores.

Christmas cards were on sale at the dollar

store before I had even made out my Christmas

card list. For my friends out there thinking, that's funny,

I didn't receive a card from him last year, don't worry,

I didn't send any. I am just saying that if I was

going to send them, all those early card displays

would turn me off. I hate to get into a big deal about

this because I know what she will say but, we have

been a couple for 10 or 11 years now so here goes.

Every year, and I do mean every year, she puts white

lights on her tree, and white lights on her

door , and white lights on her mantle wreathe.

There are even white lights up and down her sidewalk so

it looks like an airport runway. I haven't said much

about it, but Christmas is not going to ever be Christmas

for me until I see some lights that are colorful. Red,

yellow, blue, orange, and green, colors is what Christmas

is really all about.

I need bright lights and colors. Don't get me wrong ,

I do believe in the Christian part of Christmas and

I do know the true meaning of Christmas; it's just

that all this other stuff takes away from my Christmas

spirit. I don't want to be bah humbug; however, I

am starting to feel like the spirit of Christmas past

and that is not right. I need prettier and more

colorful Christmas tree lights in my life.



She Said


I think colorful Christmas tree lights is the least

of your worries. I have already bought most of my

Christmas presents this year, including your present.

I have given you many hints throughout the year

about what I want Santa to bring me. With all of your

fussing and whining about why Christmas isn't fair to you,

I'm not sure you're listening to me. Maybe I should get

a GPS for you just to see if that is one female voice you

will listen to and follow directions precisely. Why not buy your

presents early when there is a better selection instead

of those loved ones on your Christmas list having

to settle for leftovers on Christmas Eve? That, alone,

is reason to avoid the last minute rush. Besides, if

your children and I don't give you a list, there's no

telling what we would get, given your eclectic taste.

I don't need an electric scarf that plays Christmas

carols and your children don't need a tie with

Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer with a blinking red nose.

As far as you not enjoying Halloween, you loved every

minute of driving the cart through Target

buying candy that was reduced. I didn't hear you

humming Christmas carols then; you were a man on a

mission. And Christmas cards.....I can guarantee you

that your friends will not receive a card from you

until the price of stamps goes down. Now lets talk

about white lights on MY tree, in MY house. Until

you walk me down the aisle and start paying MY electric

bills and buying MY tree decorations, you

can keep riding around town looking at other peoples'

yard decorations in color. I like MY white lights.

You said the colored lights are what you were used

to growing up...have you noticed that your mother

has all white lights this year? If you're the voice

of Christmas past, this is the voice of Christmas future,

if you know what I mean. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.