Getting the Facts Straight

November 2010

He Said

All over the world people are concerned about conserving
energy, going green,saving the trees, conserving water,
and cutting off the lights. But not in her house. She has
lights set up in the dog's room to come on and off by a
timer whether we are there are not. She doesn't want the
pooch wandering around in the dark looking for her favorite
toy, poor thing!. There is a light in the dining room, also
on a timer, that comes on at dusk and turns off sometime in
the middle of the night. There is a light in the foyer, also
on a timer, that comes on at dark and stays on till late at
night. There is a night light in the bathroom, the spare
bathroom I might add, that stays on all night. When she
enters a room she turns on the light. When she enters another
room she turns on the light. None of these lights get turned
off until she is ready to go to bed. When I ask her about
conserving energy, her response is usually something like a
light bulb cost about fifty cents to burn all month. When I
ask her where she gets her information, she says the Internet.
As we all know the Internet is now our main source of knowledge.
We also know that the Internet information highway is strewn with
not only useless information, but also misguided information.
I am not saying that the fifty cents guideline is wrong,
but as my Mother use to say," a penny saved is a penny earned".
I have noticed that since the time we have dated,her children
have learned well from their mother. No light in the house is
ever turned off until bedtime. Her other response is she wants
to have the house look lived in. "If all the lights are out in
the house, the house looks unhealthy" , she says. I guess to me
getting a five hundred dollar light bill every month would make
me and my wallet feel unhealthy.

She Said

I love Thomas Kincaid's paintings and the closest I'm going
to get to a serene setting like that is by leaving a few lights
on here and there. Which is more inviting...a dark, gloomy
house that is an invitation to be broken into or a home glowing
with lights and warmth from a fire in the fireplace and
maybe even soft music playing. Who wants to walk around
in a house stumbling over chairs, bumping into doors, or
tripping over someone's shoes who couldn't quite find a place
for them other than in the middle of the floor? Mr. Scrooge
wants everything turned off as a person leaves the room and
turned on again when they come back. Have you seen the TV
commercial of the man who goes around the house unplugging
lights, coffee maker, toaster, radio, TV, etc., to save
electricity? You wrote that ad didn't you, Mr. Ad Man?
Who is going to crawl behind the sofa, bed, kitchen cabinet,
etc, to plug them back in when they are needed again?
I remember going to my Dad's in Virginia Beach on weekends
from college and when we drove up, all the yard lights
were on as well as the lights inside. What a welcome home!
It just wouldn't have been the same if I drove up to
a dark house. As far as my kids go, if leaving lights
on is something they learned from me then I'll take it
as a compliment that maybe some other things I taught
them are etched in their minds.

Why did God invent TV ?

He Said

I remember when the television first came out in the
fifties for me. Black and White and only one or
two stations and you got your reception using an TV
antenna , or rabbit ears. I enjoyed my fair share
of TV in the fifties, Howdy Doody Time, Old Rebel Show,
Superman, Amos and Andy, Gunsmoke, and who could forget
The Mouseketeers, especially Annette. As I have grown
older , TV has either gotten worse, or I have grown up.
I do not need TV. TV certainly does not need me. In my
house the TV never comes on unless we have a war, a
catastrophe, or some important person gets married
besides me. (Princess Diana). Now I try to understand
the function of the TV, besides the excuse that it keeps
someone company. I mean you can get a dog to keep you
company and have more fun doing it.
She has five TV's and one day I am going to walk into
her house and sitting right in the bathroom will
be Matt Lauer staring back at me while I am sitting
on the throne. I mean give me a break. Her children
gave her a TV for the kitchen for Christmas.
(Good job kids),however, the kitchen was the only room
in the house where I could come over for breakfast
and we could share some time together talking just
the two of us. Now , of course, we listen with baited
breath about the next excursion that Matt is going
to take and is Meredith going with him. I mean really.
When is a man expected to get quality time with his girl.
It almost makes me want to get a dog. Not really.
Her dog is enough and that is a whole different story.


She Said

Here we go again. You are on your TV kick again.
About every two years he starts yapping about how
bad TV is, or the people who watch TV are somehow
inferior to him, or he is superior to everyone that
watches television. He has his moments. Some days
I walk in from being out and he is busy watching
Cops or Tru TV or that insane or inane Nancy Grace.
I agree with him wholeheartedly that he is not
a TV person. I will attest to the fact that he has
never watched American Idol. Should I give up TV for
him? Is he that important that I should give up the
Young and Restless? Do I want to miss Two and a
half men because he gets lonely easily? Love is
grand and all that but come on, give up Matt in
the morning? I should think not. Matt closes his
mouth when he chews, Matt does not talk back,
and Matt and I get along beautifully in the morning.
If Dr. McDreamy had a show I would buy two more TV's
for the rest of the house and maybe have TV put in
my car. Sophie, my poodle , has her own television
so she can watch Caesar............ to learn how to
behave better. Maybe there is a TV show that I can find
where he can learn to adapt better, learn to control
his needs and the judgment of others, and learn to
respect other peoples indulgences. Does anyone have
Dr. Phil's number? I think I need an intervention.