Setting Me Up for the Fall - November 2011

He Said



Fall weather is finally here and most people are happy that the summer heat is over and winter is right around the corner. Everyone is happy except for me. I am hiding behind every nook and cranny from you because I know what is coming. You will start talking about the beautiful yellow and orange leaves on the trees in our yard. I will start cringing at the idea that someone is going to have to rake all of these bad boy leaves up and I just hope it isn't going to be me. You will start complaining about it getting dark earlier and you can't go for a walk around the block. I will look at you with my big old brown eyes as sad as a puppy dog, while my mind is thinking "yay, I get to keep her in the house with me." You will start asking me to go on Stubhub every night to find the cheapest prices on football tickets for next weeks' UVA game and I will go online to the weather station praying for a forecast of rain. You will start hinting about what everyone would like for Christmas and I will start complaining about how the bills are piling up. You will start whining about the grass getting dry and complaining because you didn't get to cut it all winter and I will be thanking God that I didn't have to hear the deafening noise of that lawnmower. It disturbs me while I'm sitting on the porch trying to read a good book, you know. You will be looking out of the picture window in the living room hoping that any day it will snow and I will be trying to find a good place to hide the snow shovel. Yes, we both love the fall and winter...BUT for very different reasons.





She Said

It's a good thing that opposites attract because that's about the most pessimistic paragraph I've ever read. But then, look who wrote it. I keep telling you that your glass should be half full instead of half empty but you don't believe me. I love the fact that we have four seasons, even though sometimes they melt into each other with little or no difference. By the time I'm tired of one season, the next one comes along. In the fall, there are so many events to look forward to. Beautiful leaves, fall festivals, craft shows and a new crop of students are just a few of the changes that occur each year. Yes, it gets dark earlier and I can't go on long walks as easily but I can still exercise at home and it also gives me time to work on my "bucket list" that you discussed in Sunday School one day. I know you don't particularly like attending sports' events but I do need to remind you that when you are at such an event, YOU DO NOT LIKE TO BE INTERRUPTED. (You have a one track mind). As far as Christmas goes, since we each have our own adult children, we do our own thing so that shouldn't give rise to "bills piling up". Now to the lawnmower...it's broken so you certainly won't have to listen to it any more. Maybe I should generate a quiz on what ever book you say you're reading now to prove that it's just possible that you're sleeping instead of reading and that's the real reason why the lawnmower disturbs you. Yes, I do have my nose pressed against the window hoping for snow though because it cleanses the universe, leaving an immaculate white coat over all of God's creations leaving behind a peaceful silence.

Reeding, riting, arrittmet.......Math

He Said She Said Showcase November 2009

He Said

Here is the problem with dating a school teacher.

(Is here a proper noun?). I don't care what you

do or what you say, most of the time it is wrong.

(Is wrong an adverb or a noun?) She comes to me

and says I am calling that company that advertises

Suits on TV because they are using the wrong

verb,tense,adverb, or something on television.

This makes it more difficult to teach the children

in school when they are seeing it wrong on television.

(I don't think you should have used more in front

of difficult). The most frequent one is the usage of

“that” and “who”. One is for a person description

and the other is for a thing description.(or something

like that..or who). If this happened once or

twice I could understand. But this is almost daily.

I have purchased four dictionary's and two large

Thesaurus's(or Thesauruses,or Thesauruss') and a

minithesaurus to carry in my glove box so that I

will know when or how to use the correct word.

(or is it wording?) Please don't get me started on

the dangling participle(is that the correct spelling?)

because even though is has been explained to me

over and over I am still letting it hang. The number

of times that I have ended a sentence with a

preposition number into the thousands and I have

just got to learn how not to end a sentence with to.

(or some other form of a prep.) When I went to the

INTERNET and found that some of our old grammar

was forgotten and now readily accepted(like that and who)

she started going to other teachers to make

her case. I will just have to keep trying to do

my best to speak the King's language like I was taught,

and please do not remind her about math. I don't

have time to get into all that. Let's just hope that

the current stays on in the retail stores, in case

one of the clerks has to make change.



She Said

When we were in high school the teacher ask me if I

would help tutor you in English so that you

could get your F up to a D minus. I did help you,

you did pass the English exam, and here it is almost

fifty years later and I am still having to tutor you.

Does this job ever end ? Don't get me wrong. I only

want to make you sound better in public when you are

making up words, using the wrong pronoun or

noun, using the wrong verb tense, slaughtering the

English language, and embarrassing me at every

event. Don't you want to be known as the person

with a strong vocabulary? The eloquent speaker

admired by your so called Posse”( I hate that term).

No, in reality, you probably do not care either

way. You just enjoy hearing the sound of your voice,

the knowledge that no matter what you say you

are always right, and that other people are standing

in line to hear what words of wisdom are going

to be coming forth from your mouth. After all these

years I should just give up and let you continue

to make a fool of yourself. However, as a teacher

it is my job to make sure that all that I teach learn

the fundamentals of grammar, spelling, verb tenses,

and yes, sometimes even math. Do I always

succeed ? I would say that you are a shining example of that answer.