Dog Days of Summer

He Said She Said Showcase Magazine August 2011 Dog Days of Summer Larry and Dena
 
He Said
 
It's August, summer school is over, your youngest son
has left the nest, all of the furniture in the house has
been moved and a new school year has begun for you this year.
This is just a recap of the first summer I spent with you
as my beloved wife. I imagine that your take on this summer
will be quite different from mine but that is why we share
our lives with our readers. First off, you spent the summer
teaching summer school. So much for building a relationship
because it meant that for the first six weeks of the summer
I was on my own. You went to school at the regular time, 
your students left at one and you stayed at school until
two or three making lesson plans for the next day. Then
you came home to catch up on all the work you had missed
because you were teaching. Summertime to me would mean
taking three months off of teaching, sitting around
drinking tea, and catching up on reading or visiting
friends. This is what I would like for you to do. Your
idea is painting the spare bedroom, moving all the
furniture from one room to the other, throwing away
all of the things that YOU don't need, (what about
the things that I need?) and putting everything else
in a pile for a someday yard sale, which you hate.
Everything that was mine in our bedroom was put into
a Walmart plastic bag and dumped in the spare room.
Everything that was yours was either put into your seven
closets or into one of your twenty three drawers
throughout three bedrooms. You did graciously give
me two drawers for my socks, underwear and whatever
else I might get to keep. As I told someone
at lunch the other day, yes marriage is o.k, but all
those rules that you had when we were dating, that
were not enforced, have now started being enforced.
 
She Said
 
I wish your glass was half full instead of half empty.
I do all of the washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning,
mowing grass, etc., while you play on your computer
and read. 
You had better be glad that I don't take the time to
tell you what I think you should be doing over the
summer. I will say, though, that the same life you
been living for sixty plus years didn't change this
past year. I'm not saying you're a creature of habit,
but the world could set their clocks by how you live
your life. You get up in the morning, say hello to
all your facebook friends, whine about a dream you
had overnight, or how your hair looks, eat breakfast,
go to work, come home, read your book, eat dinner,
go on facebook, eat a snack, complain about being
fat, go to bed and start the whole procedure all 
over again seven days a week. On Sunday you change
it up a little when we go to church.  I am not
complaining. I married you for your.....well, I
don't remember why I married you, but I married
you in spite of your thrilling life style. Don't
get me wrong, I am not unhappy, except when you
complain or whine about my habits, like cleaning
the house, or painting, redecorating the house,
or washing my car, or giving the dog a bath. To
me these are just daily routines. To you, this
is a chore that takes me away from spending time 
with you. I am thinking about getting you a nanny,
so I won't feel so guilty when I am doing my little
jobs around the house. The problem is I'd have to
worry about you turning her into a messy person
and then I'd have two people to clean up after.
Maybe I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and vent
my frustrations through this column. I get more
sympathy that way anyway.