Ides of March

March 2009 He Said She Said

He Said

I keep hearing about these Ides of March. Are they a new
group of troublemakers, a social club, or a group of misfits
just trying to stir up trouble? With the economy in such a
stupor, the price of everything going out of sight, and
people afraid to eat peanut butter, I just don't think as a
society that we need another group of folks making more
trouble for us. We live a pretty good life. We have been
blessed with good chidren, good health, good friends, good
neighbors and we get along with our families. Then I start
hearing about these ides of March people. I know about Julius
Caesar. He has been dead for years. I remember Julius being
told “beware the ides of March”, but those days are gone
forever so why should I worry about someone stabbing me in
the neck when I don't even go to the chapel, or forum, or
whatever venue he was attending when he was stabbed to death.
I go to the local grocery store or department store for shopping,
but I always have you along for protection. My theory is that
a bad guy is not going to attack a beautiful woman, so you are
sorta like my bodyguard. I date you for many reasons and the
majority of them you already know. This one reason I have been
keeping in reserve till the right moment. I guess this ides of
March thing brought out the reason. So instead of Hail Caesar...
I say Hail Dena. May you live forever and forever be strong.

She Said

I can't understand whether you are being silly, a coward, or just
plain ignorant. I don't mean that as being disrespectful to you,
but who told you that you were being threatened by the
Ides of March? That term, for your information, is only
a metaphor for some impending doom. Are you telling me that,
you are feeling some impending doom or someone has threatened
you with impending doom, or did you just happen to notice
that it was March and the term the Ides of March came to your
mind... so off you went on some man tangent.
Julius Caesar has not moved to Danville, Keeling,or Ringgold.
He is not going to be at one of the local department
stores or restaurants in Danville on the fifteenth of the or any
time this month. The only impending doom you normally worry about
is what I am fixing for supper. I think you have been eating too
many Snickers or drinking too much cola and your mind has been
twisted into some kind of foreign state that has gone way beyond
your usual out of brain wanderings.

The Ides of March.

Honestly, let's just say there were some evil spirits or bad guys
waiting behind a tree to get you, do you really think I would
jump out, give them a karate chop, or scream at the top of my
lungs just to protect you? I mean I love you and all that, but
I have a life to live and since I am in better shape
than you because I watch what I eat and exercise, I am probably
going to be outrunning you and the evil Ides of March. Trust me,
they are not going to bother you. Your creditors on the other hand
may be looking for you by the fifteenth of the month. But that
could be any month...not just March

Valentine Stuff

He Said

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. My second
favorite time of the year is Valentines. Everyone
is in love, most people are sharing Valentine gifts,
and even couples who are just in love marginally,
are at least pretending to be in love on February 14th.
Sounds good so far, right? What about love in
the he said she said house. I might have mentioned a time
or two that my fiance' is a project person.
I walked into the bedroom one day last weekend and she was
laying tile on the bathroom floor. I mean measuring,
cutting, gluing or stapleing these carpet pieces to the
floor. I would have had to dread that job for week. It's
true that we went to Lowe's and bought all that stuff,
but I figured the job of laying that stuff would be a
summertime project at the very earliest. We were not
in the house ten minutes and she was laying whatever
that stuff was. I mention all of this because that day
she was more excited and more thrilled than she has ever
been when I have given her candy, or flowers, or a
special candlelight dinner at a restaurant out of town.
How do you top new flooring? I'll tell you. You don't.
So this February please don't tell her, but I have been
looking seriously at new counter tops at one of the
local hardware stores . This will be one Valentine
present that she will always remember.

And she thought she was smarter at shopping than I am.
This will be a gift of love that last a lifetime.


She Said

Do you know how many times you used the word “stuff”?
“Stuff” has no meaning. It's a garbage can term for
people with a limited vocabulary. But I can overlook
it this time if you want to talk about my projects.
My bathroom floor was cold so I carpeted it. True,
it was rather quickly after I bought the materials
(not stuff!) but school was starting back after the
holidays so it was a time-crunch thing. I will also
take exception to your attack on me about choosing
projects over a romantic dinner out or flowers.
(I may as well take candy, bypass my mouth and slap
it right on my hips!) How many times have I told you
how gorgeous the ladies room wallpaper is or how much
I loved the décor in certain restaurants? See...I can
be romantic, too. So what if I'm planning to copy it
at a later date. Remember when our favorite song came
on and I asked you to dance? I wasn't even worried about
scratching the floor that I had just waxed and polished.
I actually waited until you left before I got out the
buffer and touched it up. So let's see...what can I
get you for Valentines? I can't seem to think of
anything unique so I guess I'll have to go to Lowes
or Home Depot to try and find just the right “stuff”.