No New Year Resolutions

He Said She Said January 2011 Showcase Magazine

He Said

January rolls around again and this means that it is
the start of a new year. Normally I would talk
about my New Years resolutions and all the things
that I hope to accomplish this year. But this year
I have decided not to do this. I am resolute in the
fact that last year was too busy. I don't even
remember what I said I was going to do so this year
I am just going to take it easy. My life is too
important for me to work so hard. I need to sit
back and relax and just take it easy this year.
Maybe I'll go on more vacations, read more, spend
more time with my friends and become more active
in fun things. I have just been concentrating this
last year on too many things for other people.
This year I need to concentrate more on me as the
old song goes. I need to make my life more
fulfilled with new ideas that I can do to make me
happy. Don't get me wrong, I want you to be happy
too, but the things that make you happy don't
always make me happy. For instance, you actually
enjoy cleaning the house, and working in the yard
makes your day, while I do not need to get dirty
or tired from hoeing the ground or sweeping the
roof, or whatever turns you on about the outside.
No, this year is going to be a big change for me.
I am going to make sure that I am happy every day,
sort of like you wanting to work outside or clean
inside; I am going to find something that I can
look forward to and get excited about. Right
now I'm excited about you getting me something
to eat and drink.

She Said

It would be redundant for me to try and even find
an answer to your ramblings. That whole contingency
of words didn't sound like anything but the same
old same old for you. You are always relaxing, you
are always reading, you are always talking about
taking trips, you are always talking about getting
together more with your friends. How about letting
me explain to you what I heard so you will understand
how the real world works and why you are so out
in left field. Let me preface this by saying that
I love you and this is only constructive information
for you to peruse and if you can justify my answers
your life will be more fulfilled, if that is what
you're trying to accomplish.
You need to get rid of Rent a Friends and try and
make some real friends of your own. You need to take
a horticulture class to learn the finer ways of
tilling the soil. Put your hands into the dirt,
feel the earth as God intended us to feel it.
You need to stop buying books. For one thing you
are out of room. You will never read all 7000
copies that you now own unless you commit a crime,
serve time and spend your remaining life in a jail cell.
I can give you a list of things that you need to
become more active in and the first would be taking
out the garbage or bringing the cans around when
you see them rolling down the street. You can help
me do the dishes after we eat, or you could even
take a food class and learn how to cook something
for us besides deviled eggs. Yes, with enough time
and space, I could give you a whole new world of
becoming active. But first I have to get you away
from the kitchen table, off the couch, and into
some new habits. Preferably helping me occasionally.

Still looking forward to the New Year? I didn't think so.

Our Christmas Wish- He Said and She Said

December 2010 – Larry Oldham and Dena Hill

Christmas comes only one time a year, so we take this
month off from our petty differences and petty whining
to be thankful for all the things that God has truly
blessed us with this year. We both have been in good
health, our children have been successful and happy,
and Sophie, Dena's poodle has been telling her that
she feels pretty good this year also. Seriously though,
we would like to take the time to thank you for all
your emails, calls, text, and comments all through
the year about the columns. People stop us on the
street almost on a daily basis and tell us they
agreed or disagreed with one of us. Most of the time
they disagree with me but that is OK because I am
not the easiest person in the world to live with.
But this December column is not about disagreement.
Today we want to offer you our Christmas Wish list.
First of all we wish that everyone would thank God
for giving us his son and that everyone would think
about the real purpose of celebrating Christmas. We
would wish for world peace and that hunger could be
eliminated all across the land. We would wish for
Cancer to be eliminated around the world and that
scientist could find a cure for all diseases that
affect our lives. We would wish for world peace in
all the families around the world, that people could
live together without conflict and without bickering.
We would wish that everyone love each other through-
out the world everyday, just not at Christmas time.
We would wish that everyone could celebrate their
religion in every part of the world and have the
freedom to live their lives as they so desire. We
would wish that the homeless could find shelter,
that the hungry could find a way to nurture themselves
on a daily basis. We would wish that everyone could
find jobs so that we all could live the American
dream and have provisions for their families. We
would wish that manners would come back into style
and that people would respect one another on an
everyday basis. We would wish that people would
understand that when they are fussing and fighting
with each other they are affecting the mindset of
their children who are taking in every word of their
argument. We would wish that everyone could
find a place in their heart to forgive others and
live by the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you
would have them do unto you”. And finally we would
wish that the spirit of Christmas could come into our
lives everyday, not just for one day, but throughout
the whole year.

Please continue to follow the column. We hope you know
that we love each other very much and thatwe love all
of you for making He Said She Said possible. Most of
the ideas in our column are experiences that we all
share everyday in our daily lives. We are just able
to write ours down on paper and by doing so, letting
you know that we all as humans have frailties,
differences, and challenges.

As we share this Christmas season our wish would be
that we all remember the reason for the season.
Tell your friends and relatives that you love them,
go to Church and thank God for all that he has given
you this year. Pray for friends that need your prayers.
Have peace in your life throughout this year.

This is our Christmas Wish.

Merry Christmas from Larry Oldham and Dena Hill-

He Said She Said

Ides of March

March 2009 He Said She Said

He Said

I keep hearing about these Ides of March. Are they a new
group of troublemakers, a social club, or a group of misfits
just trying to stir up trouble? With the economy in such a
stupor, the price of everything going out of sight, and
people afraid to eat peanut butter, I just don't think as a
society that we need another group of folks making more
trouble for us. We live a pretty good life. We have been
blessed with good chidren, good health, good friends, good
neighbors and we get along with our families. Then I start
hearing about these ides of March people. I know about Julius
Caesar. He has been dead for years. I remember Julius being
told “beware the ides of March”, but those days are gone
forever so why should I worry about someone stabbing me in
the neck when I don't even go to the chapel, or forum, or
whatever venue he was attending when he was stabbed to death.
I go to the local grocery store or department store for shopping,
but I always have you along for protection. My theory is that
a bad guy is not going to attack a beautiful woman, so you are
sorta like my bodyguard. I date you for many reasons and the
majority of them you already know. This one reason I have been
keeping in reserve till the right moment. I guess this ides of
March thing brought out the reason. So instead of Hail Caesar...
I say Hail Dena. May you live forever and forever be strong.

She Said

I can't understand whether you are being silly, a coward, or just
plain ignorant. I don't mean that as being disrespectful to you,
but who told you that you were being threatened by the
Ides of March? That term, for your information, is only
a metaphor for some impending doom. Are you telling me that,
you are feeling some impending doom or someone has threatened
you with impending doom, or did you just happen to notice
that it was March and the term the Ides of March came to your
mind... so off you went on some man tangent.
Julius Caesar has not moved to Danville, Keeling,or Ringgold.
He is not going to be at one of the local department
stores or restaurants in Danville on the fifteenth of the or any
time this month. The only impending doom you normally worry about
is what I am fixing for supper. I think you have been eating too
many Snickers or drinking too much cola and your mind has been
twisted into some kind of foreign state that has gone way beyond
your usual out of brain wanderings.

The Ides of March.

Honestly, let's just say there were some evil spirits or bad guys
waiting behind a tree to get you, do you really think I would
jump out, give them a karate chop, or scream at the top of my
lungs just to protect you? I mean I love you and all that, but
I have a life to live and since I am in better shape
than you because I watch what I eat and exercise, I am probably
going to be outrunning you and the evil Ides of March. Trust me,
they are not going to bother you. Your creditors on the other hand
may be looking for you by the fifteenth of the month. But that
could be any month...not just March